a letter to my younger self

Breathe.

Just breathe

I know you feel like you don’t fit in, but that’s okay. Honestly, this will be your best quality. Don’t you ever conform, or, at least, try your hardest not to. It’s not worth it. Embrace your authenticity. I cannot stress this enough. Remind yourself of what and why, you are you everyday and stay true to that. Even when the going gets rough. You’re going to make big mistakes if you try and be like others. You’re not them. You never will be.

I know it may hurt that you don’t fit in as well as other people, but remember, they can do what they do because they are built that way. You are not – that’s okay too. Once you accept this, you won’t need to worry about “fitting in” anymore… who really wants to fit in anyway? Not me. Not anymore. I just want to be the best version of me. Now, that is truly something irreplaceable, but takes time and self-discipline – something which is actually very difficult to bring into constant existence. This brings me on to my next point…

Even if you try and you fail. Don’t you dare give up. How can you expect to always get things right the first time round? Who do you think you are?! You’re only human. Remember that and fail better next time. It’s amazing how we beat ourselves down so much when things don’t go our way. Yet, we’d be so supportive and encouraging to friends if they were in a bad position. So, the lesson here is, we cannot act as if we are in control of everything. Stop thinking you can. It’s not healthy. It doesn’t help anyone.

Dive deeper though. Never stop searching for answers. Find out why you felt this way? Why was your energy off? You need to be able to articulate this, so that you can communicate better with others. Don’t just assume others can read your mind. Especially yours. You’ve gotta help them, and the only was you can do that, is by really making an effort to learn about you. Introspection is a beautiful tool. Make use of it. Seriously. Use it!

People aren’t joking when they describe life as being a rollercoaster. It is. I know you think you know everything, but trust me, you are so wrong.

There is so much I still don’t know today and it’s terrifying to think that I will never know everything I want to know. Life is not easily describable. I can’t tell you that there will be good times and bad times, because most of the time, it’s not true! Life isn’t black and white. You’re going to have good within the bad, and bad within the good – literally, the yin and yang.

I know that sounds intense, but that’s why it’s so important to breathe. Like, you gotta just keep breathing through it. Learn how to meditate. A good app for that is “headspace” which I really recommend to anyone who wants to ease into the practice. This will really help ease your mind and give you better clarity over time.

Lastly, life will get really tough. There are going to be times where you literally have no idea what to do. Your sense of judgement will be blurred. Your energy won’t seem to help you. You truly won’t have answers. I want you to go get lost in nature when this happens. Go for a walk. One thing I’ve learnt this year is how beneficial it is to my mind and body, to simply go get lost in the woods for like 2 hours. Keep walking. Your mind will be racing. But shortly, it’ll have to deal with everything which is rising out of your unconscious. Breathe. Weigh up your options. Always carry a book with you: notepad and to read. Never forget pens! It’s on these walks where you can truly get away from distractions and really figure out what you want or need. At the end of the day, I can guarantee you will feel so much better for having the courage to be alone and embrace your thoughts. Oh, and you get to increase your steps by walking around aimlessly for hours!

Right, I think I’ve covered the 3 main points: stay authentic, meditate/breathe, and get lost, in nature and in your thoughts.

If you could go back in time, what would you tell your younger self? Anything I’ve missed? Let me know!

Published by C. De Sousa

Literally talking to myself through this blog, but enjoy.

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